As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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