So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
