Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
