So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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