I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My pussy is not your playground.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
