I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize