ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
