Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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