STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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