I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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