i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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