How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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