i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
