I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
