Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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