not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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