there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
