please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We need to get me chipped asap
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
ok first of all what the fuck
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
