My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
