I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
