Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
