does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
