if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
