You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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