I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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