Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
