We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
