Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize