Small penises have feelings too.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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