I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
