did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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