Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
