i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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