would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my shit smells like andre
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
