I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
