so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
