Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
