I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize