You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
