You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
