is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
