so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
