I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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