I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
