he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
