I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
