anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
