And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize