I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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