He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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