I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
