i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
