Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
