oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
