Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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