That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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