there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
