you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
