i would punch a child for taco bell
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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