I want you more than these girls want KFC
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
