i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
