btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
