'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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