dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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